I got online tonight to check my email on Yahoo and found an article about "grieving rituals" on my home page. I thought it was interesting. There were examples of various people and the ways they grieve. Some wear their loved ones clothes, some plant gardens, some sleep in the bed in which the loved one slept, others leave their loved one's cell phone in service just to call and get their voicemail and hear their voice. I haven't really found a "ritual"...that sounds so....well....freaky. I guess everyone's grief is different, but sometimes I just need to be reminded that what I feel/think is normal....that it's something everyone else feels under similar circumstance. I had expectations for what it might look like for me and our family, but experiencing it is something altogether different. I'm grateful for the people I've met who have been through the death of a loved one and for their gentle reminders that the hurt doesn't go away, but that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Somehow, because of his concern for our hearts, we are sustained.
It has been amazing to be on the receiving end of the outpouring of love, after having lost mom. There are so many things about her I didn't know....things she did to make others' lives better. I wonder how I missed knowing those things about her. How is it that we (I) get wrapped up in our own lives that we fail to know or see the gifts our loved ones are to others? I'm thankful for those memories of mom that are new to me through the eyes of the people she touched.
I continue to be blessed through this process.....daily.
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- Sarah
- I live in Texas, which I have grown to love more and more. I live two puppies, both of which I inherited....sort of....Lucy is a chocolate lab/Chesapeake Bay Retriever, and Abby is a white schnauzer. I'm a 3rd grade science and social studies teacher.
4 comments:
I'm so glad that you're finding blessings. It's interesting to find out things you didn't know about your own mom. When people come together that know her from different times in her life there are bound to be unknown memories.
I have to say that it was touching to hear the stories of people touched by her. It reminded me of the fingerprints we leave on people and how our lives touch people in ways we may never know.
I love you Sarah and I'm glad that you are finding positive ways to deal with the unexpectedness of your mom's death. Like you said, the experience is all together different than the expectation of the experience.
I was trying to think if I've had any grieving rituals for those I've lost. I still have a plant from my aunt's funeral that I'm determined to keep alive and I still have her number in my cell phone. I don't call it ... that would be taking things too far.
My grandma used to scratch my grandpa's name off of their address labels after he died. That's not really a ritual ... it's just frugal. :)
I love you Sarah. You always have God close to comfort your brokenheart ... and you always have me close to watch movies and eat with.
YES!! We should eat and watch movies soon! You are one of the heroes in my life, Paige. Thanks for being a blessing....always!
One of the things I love the most, is hearing stories from other people about my grandad. I saw him, like we do always, from only my perspective. To hear what other people saw, thought, loved about him fills my heart. It broadens and fills in my picture of him. It makes the picture more complete I guess.
Little things that we do may have a huge impact on someone else. That was evident at your mom's memorial. What a great way to fill in the picture of her!
I pray that God gives you a peace beyond what you expect. I pray for comfort for your heart. I pray for healing for your family. I love you my Sarah.
I am glad that you are getting the opportunity to hear stories of your mom from others perspective. Maybe that is the Lord's way of keeping them close to our hearts as a reminder that the goodbye isn't forever.
When my great grandpa was alive he would take me out to the cotton fields to walk through the blooming cotton. When Mark came along he replaced me with his first great grandson. He even taught him how to pick the cotton clean out of the boll. I didn't know until he had passed, and Mark was doing his family tree project for Social Studies, that Clarence's dad was a cotton farmer. Now I can not pass a field of cotton without sweet memories of Clarence filling my heart.
You have managed to show the world what grieving in His promises looks like. You continue to inspire people. And I pray that your heart will feel a bit of comfort by all those who love you so much.
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