Saturday, September 27, 2008

Things I wish I hadn't heard.....

It seems like my whole life I have worked with kids in some form or fashion. They never fail to take me by surprise with the things they say or do. Sometimes it is funny, and then sometimes I think I work on a funny farm. It is always something interesting, though.

I like lists. The movie High Fidelity is one of my most favorite movies, because John Cusack's character is always coming up with his top 5 of everything. So in the spirit of lists, I have decided to compile a list of things I wish I hadn't heard and/or seen. Some names have been changed to protect the not so innocent! If you have a weak stomach you might want to stop reading!

"Miss Floyd! Tommy is sucking his toes!"

"Miss Floyd! Tommy just tried to lick my ear!"

"Miss Floyd! I need to *insert puking noise here*!"

"Miss Floyd! I need a tissue *insert image of a child stringing snot from his hands and nose to the tissue box*!"

"Miss Floyd! My ponytail just came off! Can you put it back on?"

"Miss Floyd! When Johnny threw up on the table, some splattered on my shirt!"

"Miss Floyd! Suzy just peed in the sink of the girl's bathroom!" (I only WISH I were joking!)

"Miss Floyd! Someone wrote about you in the bathroom in red permanent marker!" (And it wasn't "Miss Floyd's my favorite teacher!")

"Miss Floyd! You sure have put on weight!"

But then there are those things you hear that just melt your heart!

"Miss Floyd, you're hair smells really good!"

"Miss Floyd, you are SO skinny!"

"Miss Floyd, can I hold your hand?"

"Miss Floyd, can you teach 5th grade so I can have you again?"

"Miss Sarah, I was one point away from commended on my reading TAKS!" (Matthew, my friend Elaine's son, after years of struggling in reading.)

"Miss Sa - wah, I need a hug!" (Sweet little Noah, Matthew's little brother.)

"Tay-uh, Tay-uh!" (Little Noni Gearhart trying to say my name as she runs to hug me!)

"Aunt Sarah, you're my favorite!" (My nephew, Kolin, 3)

So I guess when working with children, and loving children, you have to take the good with the not so good. I don't think I'd trade it for anything! Well.......maybe some Calgon and a bottle of Advil!


sherryfisher said...

You teachers have all the fun ;-)

From my own children the oddest things: "Mommy, I frowed up" "She's not our real mom you know" "You gotta see this snake we killed in the backyard"

The best things are: my teenage boys saying "I love you". I also love to hear my children laughing with each other not at each other and to have my daughter come talk to me about any and everything. Thank you Lord for those things.

cemotosnack said...

Don't get me started on things I wish I hadn't heard ... it's funny because they are much the same as yours.

Some of my favorite phrases came from my last year of teaching ... I had a student that pretty much narrated every move I made.

When I spilled something, "Are you just gonna waste that on the floor?" When he was falling asleep in class, "Can I water my eyes?" When I told him he had a good day, "Yes, ma'am. I didn't throw no numbers or waste time."

My favorite thing he said though came one day when we were coloring. I had tried to teach him to color things correctly. Hair is brown or black, skin is white, brown or black etc. He was coloring a man's hair blue ... and I said, "Now, do you really think his hair would be blue?" He said, "Miss Foreman ... this is fiction hair." All I could say was, "Then put some purple in there too."

cemotosnack said...

Barry you make me smile!!!

Mommahen said...

I always loved the way my boys would say certain words..."yog-yog" was yogurt for Matthew. He would also say "love me" for Love You. Mark called Egg Drop soup "Rain drop soup". Ummm sure son. Both Matthew and Noah called elevators "Alligators" for a while. My fav...everytime Matthew got a haircut he would tell his daddy "I got a SHORT CUT!"

I'm glad they made your good list of things you've heard! Otherwise the post may have taken a WHOLE different turn.

Sarah said...

Sherry, I laughed out loud when I read your list. God has blessed you with amazing relationships with your children. I love to spend time with you guys because it is obvious how much you all enjoy each other.

Paige, at least you know that child learned something from you. If it hadn't been for you, he might not be able to distinguish reality from make believe. ;)